i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
