im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
