You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
