Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
