Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
