i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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