When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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