Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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