just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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