Soap is not a condiment
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
