how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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