people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
