found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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