love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
