...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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