im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
