I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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