My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
