they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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