omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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