another moral hangover. fuck.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
