But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I need moral support for this bender
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
