THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize