Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
