yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
