McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
