hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
