forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize