you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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