Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
