what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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