Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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