I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
