I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize