We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
