Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
