Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
