come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
