Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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