Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
