i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
