It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
