So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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