the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
