She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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