he shaved USA in his pubs
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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