I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
