is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
