Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
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