Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
