hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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