That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
