You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Randomize
