i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
