You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My vagina just clenched in fear
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
