If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
