In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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