All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize