when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
