I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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