She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
