I think I am morally bankrupt
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
