They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
