I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
