I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
