At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
