After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize