Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
