i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
