in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
